Further Thoughts on the Phrase "Life is Hard."

I usually compose my blogs when I'm riding my bike. Half the time I forget what I was going to say by the time I get around to blogging, but this one has been sticking with me for a while. That's because our words have such power that I want to be careful what I say to myself.

Mrs. Tioli says "I'm feeling unhappy," when I might say "Life is hard." I think that is a much healthier and positive way to think about circumstances. For instance, I could say life is hard right now for several reasons:

--We don't have as much money as we'd like to have, or that we've had in the past.

--Our business is in a rocky place right now because of the slump in the economy.

--We're getting daily calls from creditors, and we're taking the first steps toward bankruptcy.

--We're feeling the stress in our backs and other health concerns.

--Our son is going off to college and we can't support him financially as well as we'd like.

--Our son is going off to college and we'll miss him.

--Our son is experiencing numbness in his upper body and has hand tremors.

--Our other son is in rehab, and while that's a positive step, there is still much healing to be done.

So life is hard. Not much I can do about it. If I say that to my friend he might respond "That's nothing, my wife died of breast cancer less than a year ago, I'm living on my own, sans children, for the first time in many years, I don't have a job and the market is tight..." In other words, "Life is Hard" is relative.

If, however, I say to my friend "I'm unhappy," the first thing he'll say to me is "About what?" The second thing he'll say, after I've complained a bit, is "You're unhappy, what are you going to do about it?" The difference, though subtle, is profound in my thinking: "Life is hard," makes me a victim needing saving. "I'm unhappy," puts the responsibility for change back on me, where it belongs.