I got a note from his wife, Kathy:
On November 3, Gordon was diagnosed with a stage four malignant brain tumor. They can't remove it surgically because it's in the frontal left lobe. They could give him chemo/radiation but that would only buy him a couple of months & in that time he would be sick and in and out of hospitals. So we decided to just come home and live his remaining weeks in peace.
Physically he is okay, just weak & tires easily. He remembers people & things of the past but his short term memory isn't good. He's also easily confused. He has "expressive aphaysia" so although he knows what he wants to say, is usually unable to do so. So he's unable to have any meaningful conversation.
We just thought you should know his situation. you could call him but as I said, he's not much of a conversationalist these days.
Later she sent a bit more information:
I mentioned both the "Rebar Emporium" & the weekend you recalled. It brought a pretty big smile to his face & a good chuckle. He's spoken quite often, & with great fondness, of the trip to Hawaii. In fact, the plant he brought back with him has flourished, which always amazes him considering this is Phoenix. He stopped watering it when he got home from the hospital. When I asked why, he said that he said his goodbye, he's ready to let go. But I told him that I'm going to keep it going so I water it.
I took him to the emergency room because I thought he was having a stroke or something. Looking back on things, he was becoming forgetful, depressed. I thought it was just because he's been out of work & at home by himself most of the day. The clincher though came when he was to meet Joe & Larry Farrar for lunch & he never made it. He went to the wrong restaurant & didn't know why. He was VERY confused at that point & unable to communicate clearly . (that was the expressive aphasia)
Took him to the E.R. where they did scans & MRI's & admitted him. Next thing we know, he's having a biopsy. I thought "no big deal" whatever it is, they'll treat it, remove it. Hey, this is the 21st century after all. Oh well, I guess, God has other plans.
As far as the future goes, no one can say exactly how long he'll be with us. Maybe thru Christmas & the New Year. And everything just depends on how the tumor decides to move & grow. So we just live day to day. Every day he's a little less Gordon. His legs are very weak so if we go out, he's in a wheelchair for going any good distance.
He can't say much & sometimes he'll say off the wall things (but as Joe said "How would you know what's abnormal for Gordon?")
Thursday, December 04, 2008
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3 comments:
Well Uncle David... This is sad. I keep thinking of the philosophical approach to this and I come up with is that we should be appropriately sad with sadness (and not more or less sad) as we should be appropriately glad with gladness (and not more or less glad). In this case I feel like it's right to feel sad enough to be stuck at the keyboard without words for the past few minutes, and struck by the seemingly random way that come into (met at a bar, next thing I know we had a kid) and leave (fine until today, now six months to live) this life.
Ecclesiastes seems more and more comforting as I go through life. I hope you find a similar well to draw from - that provides comfort and clear-headedness. Anyway I'm going to pray for Gordon... And you.
All the best, C
Oh, David, I'm so sorry. You and Gordon go back so far as friends. Christof said it very well. As Kathy said, we never know when God will take us.
I never net Gordon, but I know from how you spoke of him over the years that's he's a person of substance in your life. I'm missing him for you, but that will only be a small fraction of how much you'll miss him.
Perhaps there's comfort in knowing you had the good fortune of counting him as a friend.
He's way too young for this kind of an ending, though. That scares me and renders me nearly speechless.
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